Former India skipper Virat Kohli has said that it was an intense process to keep up with people's expectations and added that "frustration started creeping in" when he was going through a rough patch.
On Tuesday, Kohli notched up his 45th ODI hundred in Guwahati against Sri Lanka off just 80 balls and moved closer to Sachin Tendulkar's record of 49 ODI tons. Moreover, he equalled Tendulkar's record of 20 centuries in the format at home when he scored 113 off 87 balls, hitting 12 fours and a six.
Kohli has gone through a lean patch during the past few seasons and last year he broke his century drought of three years in ODIs against Bangladesh in December. Speaking to Suryakumar Yadav after the match, he said: "Well, I said this in the post-match presentation as well.
Sometimes what happens is people look at you differently. Now, when Surya goes out to play, people think Surya will do it. Keeping up with that is a very intense process. And sometimes what happens is, when you're playing cricket well, your form is good, and all those things flow well. "
"But when it dips a little, in my case, frustration started creeping in. Because I wanted to play in the same fashion and people have this expectation, so I play like this, I should play like this, I will have to play like this."
"But cricket didn't allow me to play in that fashion. It was a different time for me. And because of that, where my game was, it was very far away. Because my desires and attachments had totally taken over.
"That's when I realised I can't be away from who I am. I have to be true to myself. Even when I am vulnerable and not playing well, I'm the worst player around, I have to accept it. I can't be in denial.
Because in denial, in my case, a lot of frustration was creeping in and I was getting very cranky, and very snappy in my space, which wasn't good at all. I did not feel it was fair to anyone around me.
Anushka, my close ones. It is not fair to the people that support you and are with you all the time to keep seeing you in that space. I had to take responsibility and put things in perspective."
The star batter added that when you feel a little bit of depression always take two steps back instead of pushing things further. "After that, when I came back relaxed for the Asia Cup, I started enjoying the practice.
I started enjoying training again. Which is how I have always played my cricket. What I will say is that if you feel a little bit of desperation, always take two steps back, rather than pushing more and more.
Because then things will start to go away from you," Kohli concluded. India beat Sri Lanka by 67 runs on Tuesday to go 1-0 up in the three-match ODI series. The second match is scheduled to take place on Wednesday at the Edens Garden in Kolkata.